Aging ain't fun at all… BUT SHOW UP!

At the time of writing this, I am 47, well and truly into perimenopause ( I just had to add that word to my computer dictionary - f**king seriously??)….

As I was saying… perimenopause… I am larger & wrinklier than I have ever been and I STILL did a branding photo-shoot yesterday….

When I first saw the images, my heart actually sank.
(The photography & posing was great, but I also see the OUT TAKES, and you as a client would not)

All I could see was the negatives. My face is rounder and my eyes seem to be disappearing, my waist thicker, as are my legs and just about everything rounder and lacking the shapes they once had. My skin is wrinkled and sagging in areas, my freckles are more prominent and my greys are showing through… a lot…

(Before I continue, YES aging is a privilege, and I am grateful for being here!
But for this blog post, I am putting that aside… Thanks.)

Leading up to the shoot, I did my best to align all the stars… I got some new clothes that I felt good in, I got a haircut and felt really good about it all. The shoot itself was brilliant… the photographer was kind & funny and easy to work with. But when I first saw the gallery of images I just plummeted into bummed out mode….

I sat with this for hours & then slept on it… fell asleep promising to whip myself into shape with more gym sessions and less food…. blimmin Gen X traits coming through… maybe all Gens to be honest.
But as a Gen Xer I can’t help but think how incredibly toxic the media was when we were impressionable teens & early 20s…. Friends stars with unfathomably skinny arms, Paris Hilton etc etc… Think about it.
Unobtainable for most!
Yes I have made Jennifer Aniston’s famous f**king salad! rolls eyes

Anyway, a whole 24 hours after initially looking at the shots, I went through them again and chose my faves. The ones I like the most are of me smiling/laughing and some of me simply looking away. The laughing & smiling ones make me forget about the physical aspects, and I actually found myself smiling back at myself. >>> Job done! <<<
That is exactly the experience I want my potential clients to have when they’re looking at the shots!

Also, I simply got used to SEEING myself.

It’s quite strange to sit & stare at a “frozen” version of yourself…..
It’s not how we’re perceived in real life. In reality we are moving, emotional, energetic, and UNIQUE.
And guess what, I now want to do more photo shoots…. 👌🏻

I believe we all have a responsibility to show up! My age group are an incredible bunch of womxn doing all kinds of amazing things.

We have stuff to say and stuff to do……………………Let your light ✨SHINE✨.

Who am I?
I am Nykie, one of the SheShoots Photographers.
Who shot me? Helen of course… my trusty side kick.

Who am I like? Probably a lot like you…. You’re probably navigating the road of aging and changing and trying your best to roll with the punches.

Much love to you my fellow wrinkly one ❤
xxxx Nyk

ps- yes I went to the gym, but as always my emphasis is on strength :)

Me contemplating a world where older women show up…. more often… and are CELEBRATED….and more BAD-ASS.

Shot by Helen - SheShoots

Me having a whole load of fun on the shoot…. If you’re having fun, your images will translate so much more. You don’t have to be in a bath with balls either! Even our more corporate shoots are fun… There’s always time for a laugh & some banter!

Shot by Helen - SheShoots

I wonder what Helen said? 🤣🤣🤣

Yay us…. 👌🏻😍

If you’re feeling apprehensive about a shoot… chat to us about your business and we can generate some creative ways to get your shots done without you needing to be a model ❤✨

From Face-lift Tags to Frown-lines 👌🏻

On the morning of my photo shoot, I was nervous.  I've done over half a dozen of these types of shoots but this one felt different.  In previous shoots, I'd tended to try to look how I thought people would expect me to - what does a web developer look like by the way? This time I wanted this version to truly reflect me, not a version of me.  I'm the sole income earner for our family now and the shoot was part of a brand refresh and new website. Showing up as myself was (and is) a scary thought, especially now that I'm 48 and looking in the mirror isn't what it used to be - I'm always a bit surprised and wonder who is that old lady staring back at me? 

Let's face it - we're bombarded with impossible beauty and anti-aging standards on the daily.  It's rare to see women celebrated for looking their age.  Add to that the very two-dimensional nature of social media and don't even get me started on the potential damage of filters that remove wrinkles and clear up skin. Especially as we get older and doubts start to creep in about our relevance in an ever-changing digital world. With all of that to deal with it's easy to get trapped into comparison and trying to keep up with other business owners.

So, I decided to try my hand at some eyebrow lift stickers and face-lift tags I'd seen on YouTube for this photo shoot. I thought I'd look younger and more fabulous in the snaps, and that when people saw me in real-life on Zoom, I convinced myself they'd just think I was having an off day or something.  I spent time trying to make my hair perfect and sleek even though it usually looks like I've been dragged through a bush backwards. But as I was finishing getting ready, I couldn't shake the feeling I was hiding behind a disguise and doing myself a disservice in the process (not to mention that I looked pretty ridiculous). 

My clients come to me because I've been there, done that.  I've got years of experience and hands-on knowledge to back up my skills  - and yes, that means I've got the wrinkles to prove it. So, I chucked the stickers and tags out and let my hair do its own thing. I can be proud of my life storylines and my wrinkles and the many adventures I've had in this skin.

The SheShoots team laughed with me when I told them the story, they empathised and understood.  And the resulting photos they captured are exactly what I was after. The shots show the real me, not some overly-perfected version. I think they're also a testament to being grateful you've lived long enough to age and the importance of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

The Takeaway?  Trying to look perfect in photos is a trap, and the most beautiful thing you can do is embrace your true self.  Show the world and your clients who you really are and be proud of it at any age.

by Louisa Currie / Redhead Digital

———————————————

A note from Nykie

Thanks so much for trusting us Louisa!! It’s such a leap of faith to get a shoot done. Also Helen and I both get what you mean when you’re looking in the mirror at a face with a few extra laugh lines! 🌟❤

Here are a handful of Louisa’s shots.
Have a look at her amazing work & how she used her images over at www.redheaddigital.co.nz 🔥

Making peace with seeing myself in photos…

Generally, the way we view ourselves is quite limited. If you’re like me, I only see myself in a mirror from my waist up & not for very long.

So getting a photo shoot done can feel like you’re “exposing” yourself…

When getting photographed, you’re forced to hand over control to someone else and hope that what comes back aligns with the self-image you have been cultivating. It’s important to add here too, that mirrors are reversing what you see…

I’ve heard it all - the things people say to “buffer the impact” of getting their photos back. Mostly “I am not very photogenic” - thing is, you truly are… the real you is right there - you just gotta SEE it…

Have you noticed this situation?
You see a picture of a friend while you’re with them and you exclaim “you look beautiful”, but then she proceeds to criticise many facets of it?……………. that’s the trap we’re stuck in, us women…….

Now imagine when you see photos of yourself you flip that switch.
You find the good things about yourself! 🥰✨

This is what I have had to do. Since having a co-shooter I end up with a lot of photos of me working and pose-testing etc. I’ve trained my mind to not react negatively. It’s hard, I am not going to lie! But now I am all good with it…. I am ageing and changing, and I am just me. I am also not simply a-photo. I am a moving, talking, thinking, human!

And in most of my photos I am literally in my zone, WORKING!

That authenticity is what we want to capture for you. You’re not a model and you don’t have to be like one. This is your work, hopefully your happy place, and when people get the privilege of SEEING you for real, your potential clients will be interested in you and all your awesomeness

Someone said to me recently…
“You gotta own your shit!, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Nykie xx | www.sheshoots.co.nz

All the following photos are of me working and are shot by Helen Dol.

Mentally preparing for a personal branding photo shoot.

How to prep mentally for a personal branding shoot - body image, self talk, and more.

The extraordinary Michelle Sokolich, Videographer, Photographer and Pod Caster; The Bod Almighty

If this is your first photoshoot, or you’ve had one before that didn't go so well. It can feel really daunting. We really do get that.

On your first shoot you may

• Not know where to put your hands

• Feel awkward for the first few shots

• Have nervous giggles and feeling like a fish out of water

• Have anxiety (we empathize!)

Does everyone experience the above…? mostly yes… and it's NORMAL. 

How many ways can you look at yourself……?
All the good ways….. 🧡👌🏼 (Pictured: Nat Coombe, Pricing Specialist)

Here’s a wee secret too - We also get a little nervous. Not because we doubt our photographic abilities,  But because Helen & I are both very empathetic and we really need you to be comfortable.

So we do that for you. We chat, we laugh, we take the time we need….

So, how do you mentally prepare…?

You simply lean in! We got you!
However, there’s no harm in a little mental agility leading up to your shoot….

Here are a few tips/ exercises that might calm your nerves.

1. You are not a model and we don’t expect you to be like one. Besides, some modelling poses are actually super strange! We want you to be YOU, and we’ll work out what posing suits you as we get into the shoot. 

2. People watch! Yip, have a look around! We are all so wonderfully human. No one is perfect… Your clients will be attracted to you for being just that - wonderfully human. Stop looking at those insta-perfect people… it’s not real! (maybe some are, but I’ve never met one!)
- Go away Photoshop air-brushing and body-manipulations. (Although we’re open to annihilating a zit if one pops up that day!)  

3. Be comfortable! Wear clothing that FITS, and clothing that is easy for you to move around in. Trying to squeeze into “that” pair of jeans you’ve been keeping for ages will just make you feel a little ikky.  You’ll look great in clothes that fit and feel goo. The comfort and confidence will translate into better shots. 

Follow some rad stylists here in Auckland like: (Insta)
Pro tip: follow people they follow for top-tier body positive content.
Monique Doy @moniquedoy
Emma John @sisterhoodofstylenz
Caitlin Taylor. @chasingcait_stylecoach

4. Watch the movie “Embrace”, it's on Netflix and it's wonderful. We're all so beautiful! You’ll feel warm fuzzies wash over as you relax realising we’re all so different and not runway models!

5. PLEASE Remember that Helen & I are both photographers with empathy.
We’re not your “too-cool-for-school, fancy-high-end studio, espresso-shot-drinking, man-bun-wearing creative-toffy-nosed-poncy-pants “
Haha… to be honest, I’ve never met a photographer like that…. But we’re not one anyway! Last but not least…

Lean in, breathe, and enjoy the process……..

Nykie & Helen xx 

Nykie in action…

Helen in action :)

BOOK YOUR SHOOT TODAY

What to wear - how to rock your personal branding shoot and feel like yourself.

Hello there rad person! Considering a personal branding shoot, but worried about what to wear? It is the most common question we are asked, so you’re not alone.

At SheShoots we are happy to give you advice and our feedback, but essentially we don't want to tell you exactly what to wear.
We want you to be yourself! Please read on…….

The beautiful Emma from Works For Everyone

First of and foremost, be comfortable! On a personal branding shoot, we will be moving about, sitting, standing, and maybe walking up stairs, or if your shoot is more organic, we’ll be getting our feet sandy. So wear clothes you can move freely in. The last thing you want is feeling like you need to constantly adjust an item of clothing or have something that’s a little on the tight side making you feel self-conscious. Unless of course you’re comfortable in your fave tight pants! Bring it!

What colours should you wear? Anything that you like really.

We only have two *rules*, and that is to please avoid super bright fluoros (think traffic warden colours), especially on the top half.  They reflect off the face and upset your skin tone and can be a bit of a mare to shoot & edit. The only other *rule*, is to avoid super fine stripes as these create a strange strobing effect on your photos which makes the photos uncomfortable to look at.

*Strobing is a kind of wobbling movement as the lines flicker between pixels on your screen.

Stunning in pink, Leanne Pratt - Fatigue Specialist.

Great creative with colour, especially if it doesn't clash with your website branding. A lof of people use their shots on social media and anything goes! Why not stand out?

Or perhaps you like wearing just black? Please DO…. So long as you are being authentically you, we’ll shoot ya!

If you are bringing a few changes, keep it as simple as you can. Especially if we don't have access to a private changing area. Getting changed can often make you feel quite flustered. So we suggest making an outfit different by just adding a jacket or cardi. Or just changing your top half. And be weary of clothes that are hard to get over your head if you have had your hair done for the shoot. 

A week or more before your shoot, lay them all out on your bed so you can see how they all look and then you have time to buy extras if you feel you need it.  We’re happy for you to take an phone-pic as well & show us if you’re apprehensive!
The more organised you are before the shoot, the more relaxed you’ll feel on the day. 

If you need help from a personal stylist we highly recommend any of the following super cool ladies.

EJ from Sisterhood of Style “creating confidence in women through style”
Monique Doy “Size inclusive stylist”
& Kerry Finlay “Simplifying Style”

MOST OF ALL, HAVE FUN!

Nykie & Helen xx

Nykie “Duck-face” Grove-Eades, and Helen “Hair-Swoosh” Dol.
At your service. ❤👌🏻✨

Renee Cosio’s ShowUp Shoot

Renee won her shoot late in 2020. It was awesome to be able to give away a shoot & support someone else’s hopes & dreams! Without further a do, here are some of the shots from her SheShoots Experience. We used her amazing garden in Kumeu.

Do you want your own ShowUp Shoot experience?
Click the button below to learn more. And feel free to contact us at any time with questions and queries ;)

Nykie & Helen xx

Why get personal branding photos done?

Emma from Sisterhood of Style ✨

Q: Why get personal branding photos done?
A: Connection.

This word sums it up. You want to connect with your potential customers so they are more inclined to buy & book. It’s their chance to get to know you.

This world is kinda crazy. We’re devouring information and imagery on a huge scale.
Every. Single. Day.

Emma Mclean - Executive Coach 🥇

What is unique about you?

well….. YOU. Your face is incredible, and although you may have a doppelganger our there somewhere, You are the only YOU. I love that. Sit and think about that for a moment. Super rad!

If you’re a service provider, your potential clients want to see who they may be meeting. Or to get a better understanding about how you interact with your clients. The divide between how they imagine things and showing them, is HUGE.

Maybe you make products? A personal branding shoot can show off the surroundings you’re in when you’re creating your product - Super cool! CONNECT your clients with your world and you’ll be removing the daily clutter of the internet and everything it throws at them, you’ll be welcoming them in.

Renee Cosio, Singer & Musician 🌞

Personal branding can show people the spirit of your business and will drive sales & bookings.
Your website will get an instant overhaul, and that all important first impression will sky rocket.

Here are some other reasons to get a shoot;
- You’ll have more social media content at hand
- You’ll be able to fire off decent images to magazines and venues if the
need arises, cause it will! you are awesome!
- Press releases will be more professional and appealing
- Your profile image across multiple social platforms will become cohesive and people will be able to easily recognise you - that’s awesome brand recognition.

So yes, there are many reasons to get that shoot done….
Check out our packages here on the website and book in.
Feel free to send us a message and discuss your needs :)

Happy trails!
Nykie & Helen xx